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Our Valentine's Day collection launches online on January 7th and rolls out in shops starting on the 11th! Try not to get all hot n' bothered. Okay but did lush really think this through? There is gonna be at least one dumbass that tries to use that eggplant bath bomb as a dildo. Horny and alone and desperate to figure out what will get you off? Suddenly every mildly dick-shaped device is a potential lover.
Trust me: Women know how to use tools. Like this roundup that mentions a woman who can sit on a beer can and the author once making a dildo out of ice. Here are the opening lines from an LA Weekly piece about budget masturbation and perfectly good substitutes girls can use to get off when times are lean:. Years ago I remember hearing a story about a girl I grew up with fucking herself with a cucumber. That tale always stuck with me until I stuck one in me. The author goes on to list a dizzying array of items one can substitute for a traditional vibrator or traditional penis, including pens, the skinnier end of a beer or wine bottle, a curling iron turned off, Jesus!
Take a trip to your local produce store or back yard if you grow cucumbers or, if you prefer, zucchinis. If the cucumber is too big, shave it down until it fits comfortably. You could even carve it to give you a nice G-spot curve or a head. There are a lot of precautions you should take before inserting anything into yourself. This is why many many sex-positive experts recommend giving girls vibrators. And yet, can you blame us?
Which is why bananas, hammer handles, baseball bats yikes! We might just be teenage girls exploring our sexuality before anyone talks to us about it. And we rarely have family encouragement. Not that boys are set up with a special masturbation den other than their bedroom and a cheering section.
But what about girls? You make do. This is why women hump vibrating washing machines, pillows and anything we can rub their clitorises against until we figure out how to get ourselves off. As the owner of a clitoris, I will tell you that of course I now realize women can use their fingers to get themselves off, and yet, the motion that le to completion was never as intuitive to me as stroking a dick seemed to be.
Is it actually harder, or have I just been convinced it is? But I also known some men particularly older generations are still very threatened by them. So for those women, and any other girl who needs the release, I point toward the utility drawer. And the kitchen. And the garage.
And the bathroom. Especially when there are some leeks in the fridge. Tracy Moore is a staff writer at MEL. Formerly at Jezebel. Like come on. Here are the opening lines from an LA Weekly piece about budget masturbation and perfectly good substitutes girls can use to get off when times are lean: Years ago I remember hearing a story about a girl I grew up with fucking herself with a cucumber. Select a few cucumbers of different sizes to give you some choices.
Weird, huh? More Stories from MEL.Things to use as dildos
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